Change..

Hey yall! I know it's been a while but I've had quite a bit going on. I just got back from visiting Birmingham & Atlanta and I must say the trip really lit a fire under my hind part.
Those who know me personally know that I've been struggling with the decision of finishing school here or moving back to the south to be closer to "home" & that little vacay made me miss TRUE southern hospitality like crazy! I'm definitely considering making that move... I mean the way I see it, there are schools everywhere so my main focus is securing a job & a place to live.
I started this blog as a means to connect with new people, but even above that, to connect with myself on a deeper level so I'll admit that I am absolutely terrified of being that far away from my family. I'm scared that I won't be successful. I'm scared that it won't be all I hope that it will be.. I'm just scared yall!!!
I was talking to my buddy, Nicole, about all of these fears and she looked at me, smiled & said "If your dreams don't scare you, they're not big enough... I mean you can always come home so Go for it Tierra!!" That's probably gonna go down in history as one of the top 5 best pieces of advice I've received... I love having such inspirational people in my life!
I know I only have like 8 followers right now (lol) but I would love to hear you all's opinions and/or bits of advice on making this move..

Thanks!

Clap your hands if you remember your 1st time..

This is not THAT kind of post.. lol..  but now that I have your attention.....
For the first time since I was 17, I’m TOTALLY single… been that way for almost 2 years.. By totally, I mean I don’t have any dealings of any kind with anybody!! No text buddies, no late night creeps, no cuddle buddies. NOTHING. I can actually leave my phone at home all day & the only person that MIGHT call is my mom… It’s kinda sad when I look at it in black & white lol!! & No, I wasn’t with the same person for 8 years but every time I got out of one “situation”, I jumped right into another one with no recuperation period…
In all honesty I settled in my last relationship. I NEVER intended for that to turn into anything other than us just chilling from time to time. But he was pressing the issue of us being more & because I was so used to having that companionship, I let it continue. And now, almost 5 years later, I’m emotionally, physically & mentally drained, distrustful & just now getting to a point where I'm regaining my sense of self love… That situation broke me down to basically nothing..

I always heard stories about people who were in abusive relationships but I never in a million years imagined that I would be one of those people. I’m tearing up as I recollect all the nights I cried myself to sleep…. I thought I would be ok to tell my story today, but I can’t bc my tears are threatening to spill over & I don’t want to risk that happening while I’m at work… so I'll just make the promise that I'll go into greater detail another day..

The moral of the story is that I now realize that I’m the only person that can allow heart break/sadness/depression to happen & I control what I think about myself… Never again will give a person that much power over me.

Back on Track (originally posted 8/31)

the following is actually a post from my wordpress site. but the overall tone of the post is still relevant..

My brother started his first semester of college on 8/22  & I have to admit I’m kinda jealous. I can remember when I had the opportunity to be a carefree college student but I instead chose to let my foolish decisions keep me from the success that I know I deserve. Now I’m trying to get back on track & it’s so hard because I didn't handle business accordingly & now I have to pay for this out of my pocket.

It’s funny how one bad decision can change your WHOLE life. Had I chosen to do things differently back then, I probably would have 2 degrees (working on a 3rd), & be living a life filled w/ love, peace & excitement. Instead I’m stuck in Oklahoma in a dead end  job (don’t get me wrong, it pays very well), with questionable “friends” & a less than mediocre love life. I don't place blame on anyone but myself. All I can do is try to make it better.

Yeah that sounds easy enough. But I swear its one of the hardest things I’ve ever been faced with. The past week has brought so many tears. It’s crazy. I don't know how I’m gonna do it but I do know that it’s gonna take a LOT of prayer, dedication, focus & support from my family & “friends”.

Somehow I think the support is gonna be the hardest to get. When I look at my “circle”, I don't have anyone around with whom I am equally yoked. We’re all very different. The bulk of my circle is consumed w/the night life, which for me, is just something to do to pass time. I also have the people who have children. That's self-explanatory. I’m just not about that life. I pray that God will place some new & improved, equally yoked & goal-oriented people in my life so that I can remain steadfast on this journey. I also pray the same prayer for my baby brother. I want him to do well in college & in life in general….. so I’ll have to lead by example.

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IT'S MEEEEEEE!!!!!

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Well that does it for the challenge... Hope y'all enjoyed it. If not, oh well.. Can't win em all!! lol... I look forward to keeping you all updated with my random life...

2 Songs

2 Songs

Song Cry by Jay-Z

Dont Wanna Miss A Thing by Aerosmith