2.07.2012

Back on Track (originally posted 8/31)

the following is actually a post from my wordpress site. but the overall tone of the post is still relevant..
My brother started his first semester of college on 8/22  & I have to admit I’m kinda jealous. I can remember when I had the opportunity to be a carefree college student but I instead chose to let my foolish decisions keep me from the success that I know I deserve. Now I’m trying to get back on track & it’s so hard because I didn't handle business accordingly & now I have to pay for this out of my pocket.

It’s funny how one bad decision can change your WHOLE life. Had I chosen to do things differently back then, I probably would have 2 degrees (working on a 3rd), & be living a life filled w/ love, peace & excitement. Instead I’m stuck in Oklahoma in a dead end  job (don’t get me wrong, it pays very well), with questionable “friends” & a less than mediocre love life. I don't place blame on anyone but myself. All I can do is try to make it better.

Yeah that sounds easy enough. But I swear its one of the hardest things I’ve ever been faced with. The past week has brought so many tears. It’s crazy. I don't know how I’m gonna do it but I do know that it’s gonna take a LOT of prayer, dedication, focus & support from my family & “friends”.

Somehow I think the support is gonna be the hardest to get. When I look at my “circle”, I don't have anyone around with whom I am equally yoked. We’re all very different. The bulk of my circle is consumed w/the night life, which for me, is just something to do to pass time. I also have the people who have children. That's self-explanatory. I’m just not about that life. I pray that God will place some new & improved, equally yoked & goal-oriented people in my life so that I can remain steadfast on this journey. I also pray the same prayer for my baby brother. I want him to do well in college & in life in general….. so I’ll have to lead by example.

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