This is not THAT kind of post.. lol.. but now that I have your attention.....
For the first time since I was 17, I’m TOTALLY single… been that way for almost 2 years.. By totally, I mean I don’t have any dealings of any kind with anybody!! No text buddies, no late night creeps, no cuddle buddies. NOTHING. I can actually leave my phone at home all day & the only person that MIGHT call is my mom… It’s kinda sad when I look at it in black & white lol!! & No, I wasn’t with the same person for 8 years but every time I got out of one “situation”, I jumped right into another one with no recuperation period…
In all honesty I settled in my last relationship. I NEVER intended for that to turn into anything other than us just chilling from time to time. But he was pressing the issue of us being more & because I was so used to having that companionship, I let it continue. And now, almost 5 years later, I’m emotionally, physically & mentally drained, distrustful & just now getting to a point where I'm regaining my sense of self love… That situation broke me down to basically nothing..
I always heard stories about people who were in abusive relationships but I never in a million years imagined that I would be one of those people. I’m tearing up as I recollect all the nights I cried myself to sleep…. I thought I would be ok to tell my story today, but I can’t bc my tears are threatening to spill over & I don’t want to risk that happening while I’m at work… so I'll just make the promise that I'll go into greater detail another day..
The moral of the story is that I now realize that I’m the only person that can allow heart break/sadness/depression to happen & I control what I think about myself… Never again will give a person that much power over me.
Glad that you came to the realization that your happiness depends on YOU. I can't stress that enough to my friends. And I've been single going on 6 years...lol. Ok, I'll say TOTALLY single since 2009. People stay trying to fix me up though and I HATE it! When this guy is ready to find me, he will. Until then, don't play matchmaker with me lol.
ReplyDeleteThanks! I hate that matchmaker junk too! Just let me be great ALONE! lol.. it's sad that letting your man find you is a foreign concept in today's society.. but I'm in agreeal (yes I made that word up lol).. we will be found when the time is right.
DeleteGood Luck boo!!
Hello! Where to begin? First, love the title on this post...made me giggle...Second...Good For YOU! Love You some You...that's what I say. I just did a new post today I think you might like...and I gave you a special mention...I look forward to reading about your journey...In God's time, not ours. Let go, and let God. All in His hands and You will be great! Hugs.
ReplyDeleteLola
http://beeyoutifulyou.blogspot.com/
I tried to comment on the post you mentioned but IDK if it posted or not so thanks again for the shout out! lol
DeleteThank you for the kind words. I'm still a work in progress but I've come a long way since the initial breakup.. Hopefully I'll be back at 100% in no time
(^.^)
http://beeyoutifulyou.blogspot.com/2012/02/live-for-today.html
DeleteHere is the link...see if this works...We are ALL a work in progress...deep down it's all about forgiveness...I said this just today...Can't means you won't. Don't tell me what you can't do...tell me what you can do....and when your done, show me don't tell me...You can do anything! Hugs.
definitly thank you for sharing.. i think thats very brave of you.. it might not seem like it but i think this is a big step towards gettin over that feeling, its hard, but it will happen.
ReplyDeletewe all make mistakes but most importantly we get to leearn from them. :) what doesnt kill you makes you stronger, you'll be just fine :)
Thank you for reading! I agree with you. Telling your story can be therapeutic, I just made the decision to tell bits and pieces at a time bc I'm such a crybaby lol..
DeleteI'm definitely stronger bc of this.
:~)